Father’s Day


I fell off of the face of the Earth today. Here is what happened: I was driving to my Aunt’s house this afternoon to celebrate Father’s day, when the cigarette that I was smoking fell on to my lap. As I hastily tried to pick it up before it burned through my dress, my clumsy fingers flicked it down and in between my toes. There weren’t any cars on the road, so I quickly bent over to grab it. I had just gotten a hold of my cancer stick when I felt the car lurch forward. I sat up quickly, thinking that I had fallen over a bridge or something. The next thing I know, I am being sucked into my car seat, and my car and I are free falling, nose first, into nothingness. I was so confused! Eventually, the car slowed down, straightened itself, and floated, slowly down, down, down. I looked to my sides, kind of panicking, and saw old street signs floating up. I opened my window, and looked down; there were stars and galaxies and other weird things. One of the stranger things that I saw on the way down, was an old Coffee shop. I saw the silhouettes of people inside, and decided to try and maneuver the car toward the drive through. I turned the wheel and pressed the gas, and to my surprise, it worked! Thankfully, the drive through window was open. I climbed onto the passenger seat, crawled out of the window and squeezed myself through the coffee shop window. I tumbled in and landed on my ass. My grand entrance caused quite a stir. The people sitting at the table closest to where I had landed, quickly came over and helped me to my feet, everyone else laughed. I let my eyes adjust to the dim lighting as I smoothed out my dress. Once my pupils were dilated enough, I looked at the faces belonging to the coffee shop inhabitants. Some I recognized and some I did not. Among the ones that I recognized were: Biggy (he has lost a lot of weight), Bob Marley, The Beatles, Pablo Picasso, Freddy Mercury, Uncle Hector, Michael Jackson, Bono, Jimmy Page, Jeremy (surprising huh?), Amelia Earhart, Ray Charles, Marilyn Monroe, The Kennedys, Jack London, Hunter S. Thompson, and the Rat Pack ( playing pool, of course.) After a moment, everyone went back to their own business, and I was left standing there, a little confused. I walked up to Michael Jackson’s table first and spoke to the King himself. “Am I dead?”, I asked. “No, you were driving down 27th avenue and fell off the face of the Earth.” he said. I was really excited now. I had never fallen down the face of the Earth before! He offered the seat next to him and I accepted. I asked him if he could teach me the Thriller dance and guess what he said? “It’s close to miiiiidnight and something evil is lurking in the dark!” He jumped up and started singing right in front of me. Everyone in the coffee shop jumped up and started doing the Thriller, even Frank Sinatra! I caught on eventually and danced right next to Freddy Mercury. Biggy did the whole Vincent Price part, and Paul McCartney stepped on my foot twice. It was awesome! I wish you could have been there. After Thriller, I walked up to Bono and told him that he smelled like grajo, but I liked his glasses anyway. Jimmy Page and I smoked a cigarette together, I played pool with the Rat Pack and poked Sammy Davis in the crotch with the pool stick, by accident. Marilyn Monroe taught me how to walk like a lady, and I smoked with Bob Marley! Once I was ready to go home, I walked up to Hunter S. Thompson and asked him what was the best way back to Earth and he told me to follow him. We walked to the back of the coffee shop and out of the back door, and there, on the back porch was his cannon. He told me to take off my shoes and climb in, which I did. He asked if I was ready, and I said yes. He counted down from three, lit the fuse, and blast off!!!! I was flying back to Earth. I landed right in front of my aunt’s house, flat on my ass, of course and proceeded to eat a delicious, munchy satisfying, father’s day lunch with my family. What am I supposed to tell my mom about the car? Uh oh.

The End


2 responses »

  1. Pingback: World Wide News Flash

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