Adventures in Wonderland


David Bowie is my best friend. We met while he was vacationing on my home planet, Mars. After David Bowie stopped by, Thom Yorke soon followed. I’m assuming that both of these artists told other incredible artists about the strange things that happen on my planet, because many more were soon to follow. Among these artists were: Pablo Picasso, Animal Collective, Ritchie Valens, Mickey Mouse, Freddy Mercury, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Jackson Pollock, Andy Warhol, The Beatles, Seurat, Ludacris, Wesley Willis, and many more. They told me all about their home planet, Earth, and about how beautiful she is. I decided that it was time for me to visit this blue planet, and see all of these things for myself. Mickey Mouse let me stay in Cinderella’s castle when I arrived, which was pretty cool. After about a week (Earth time) I decided that it was time for me to move on. I swam to the lost city of Atlantis and was greeted by a little nameless mermaid and she let me stay in her tiny grotto. Once I got bored of Atlantis, I swam to Africa and walked through the Sahara desert. I lived in a tent with some women of the desert for a few days, then continued on my way to Never Never Land. I met Captain Hook, and he is not as mean, nor as tough as he seems. I found him crying under a giant palm tree over a small cut on his left index finger. After comforting Captain Hook, I decided that it was time to move on. A really nice Earthling by the name of Peter Pan, or something like that flew me to the jungle so that I could meet his best friend, Mogley. What a funny boy Mogley was! Bagira was really nice too, he let me ride on his back, although he seemed a little grumpy for most of my stay. Finally, I decided that it was time for me to go home. I boarded my small space car, and guess who was in there? Carl Sagan! I greeted him warmly, as I haven’t seen him in a long time. I invited him on my trip and he happily agreed to go on a Mars adventure with me. Somewhere along the way, our space craft went off course, because I was driving and I have zero sense of direction. It wasn’t a big deal though, Carl was perfectly happy with an adventure within an adventure. Eventually, we were running low on energy, as we were so far from the sun and that is what powers my craft, and my vehicle was beginning to overheat (strange, I know)  that we had to stop. We landed on a teeny tiny little planet, with a teeny tiny little boy on it. He was very hospitable to us, and let us see his sheep in the box with the holes. I instantly knew who he was, because I had heard so much about him from this pilot that I had met while traveling through the Sahara Desert. The little prince asked many questions but never answered any of our questions. He was nice enough to let us stay on his little planet until we could find a way to power my space car. It was no use, only the sun could power my car. Miraculously, however, Prometheus and Bob on their way home, found us! We said our farewells to the curious little prince, and hooked my car onto their spacecraft and flew off to Mars. Carl Sagan hung out with me for about 4 weeks (Earth time), before he had to go home. About two weeks ago, I got a call from my good friend, Amelia Earhart. She invited me to stay on her tiny, unmapped island in the middle of somewhere. I accepted, and am currently hanging out with her on the beach, drinking margaritas, and swinging on handmade hammocks. Next week, I have a lunch date with Jane Austen, and the week after that, Cleopatra is supposed to visit me on Mars.

The End


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