Oatmeal

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Last night turned out to be one of the most ridiculous nights ever. Here is what happened: I left my house for Stephanie’s at about 8:30. On the drive there, I was under the impression that we were just going to the mall  but I was wrong, as always. When I got to Steph’s house, I said hello to her parents and Stephanie told me that she was house sitting for her aunt and that I should spend the night there. I politely declined because today is Amanda’s birthday and I didn’t want to miss the big 15.

Within 5 minutes, we were on our way to her sister’s girlfriend’s house for a Michael Jackson memorial fish fry. We hung out there for a little while before heading out to Stephanie’s aunt’s house. We made cranberry juice and rum drinks that tasted like jolly ranchers. I let Steph make mine so I should have known that an hour later I would be stumbling around. We sat outside and caught up a bit, then laughed and laughed to the point where my stomach was clenching and my eyes were watering. Roxy, Stephanie’s other sister, invited two of her other friends over to drink and hang out for a little while. I can only remember the names of one of the girls, Melissa. Melissa invited us to a gay (literally) party, and of course, everyone accepted the invite. Roxy, Stephanie, and I left in the yellow mustang. Stephanie and I were pretty buzzed and were laughing at anything and everything. After driving for half an hour, Roxy announces that we are lost. Stephanie calls her friend, Mercy and asks her where the party is. After hanging up the phone, Steph looks at me and starts laughing really hard again and I asked her what she is laughing at. When she finally catches her breath, she tells Roxy that she needs to look out for Oatmeal Condominiums. Upon hearing this breaking piece of news, we all broke out in a fit of laughter and sat at a red, green, yellow, then back to green light until Roxy could pull herself together enough to open her eyes and drive. Because we laughed and drank so much, it was only natural that my bladder would be begging me to release Niagara Falls before it exploded. When we parked, Roxy and I both had to pee really badly so we ran to the first condo that we saw in front of us, assumed that it was where the party was and waltzed on in. Once inside, not only was it so quiet that you could hear a lizard fart, but there were huggies and baby stuff all over the place. Suddenly, Rox turns to me and tells me to run. We ran out of the apartment and I ran head first into a tree on the way out. When we found the right door, and walked into the apartment, the first thing that I saw was a stripper pole, the next thing that I saw was the bathroom. I should have knocked, I really should have knocked because I opened the door, and saw two girls kissing and groping each other. I also saw the faces of these two beautiful women and was surprised to see Roxy’s ex girlfriend staring back at me.

After the party, I thought that we were going to go back to Steph’s house and that I was going to get into my car and drive home but, As usual I was very mistaken. Instead of going to Stephanie’s house, we all (8 girls) squeezed into two seperate cars and drove to the beach. By this time I was significantly drunk so I can’t really remember exactly where we were. All of us wanted to go dancing, so we went to this hole in the wall lounge where the air was thick with the smell of perfume and cigarette smoke. Immediately, the girls started buying me drinks and I accepted. We danced and danced and sweat and danced some more. It was a blast, and probably the most freedom that I have had in a long time. It felt really good to just be. To just let my body move with every beat and every moment, without inhibitions. I don’t know how long we were dancing but it must have been a long time because when we walked out, sweating and drunk, the sun was already beginning to creep above the horizon. All of us were very drunk and very hungry so we drove to the nearest Carreta and ordered massive Cuban breakfasts. I had my usual, cafe con leche y tostada. All of the girls were couples for the most part, making me the only straight one among the 8 of us. It was pretty awesome hanging out with a completely different crowd of people; especially awesome people like them. It must have been 7am when we left La Carreta. We squeezed ourselves into the car and drove back to Stephanie’s house, and I drove home.

I love when things don’t go as planned. It makes life so much more interesting.

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