Monthly Archives: March 2011

Pool beer tomorrow

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This dream I had last night:

I was in Gainesville with all of my old friends, we were hanging out next to the above ground pool. Everyone was sipping on a beer. Poppy was sleeping on a deck chair and we were all laughing about something that Jeremy had said. Poppy’s new man, Jason, and Winkler lift up her deck chair and dump her into the pool and everyone jumps in after her. We have an underwater race and Bobby wins, he is still wearing his glasses. Poppy is screaming about the water being too cold. Everyone is sunburnt and happy. Someone is blasting The Beatles out of their apartment window and we find glow sticks at the bottom of the pool. David Bowie shows up in a speedo, someone offers him a beer. Sean jumps from a rooftop into the pool. We eat some magic mushrooms, everything gets fuzzy and warped and I wake up on the floor confused and tangled in a mess of sheets, hugging my book. FIN

Where I Stand

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As a woman, it is only natural to want to make friends with other women.

Unfortunately that is just not something that is in the cards for me, at least not right now. It is so hard to find a group of people that truly understand and accept you. I’m new to this city, and was so accustomed to my fellow musicians and artists that I used to hang out with in Gainesville Fl; people that were just as strange and open minded as I am. Now, I live in the bible belt where people are more conditioned and more critical of anyone remotely different than they are. I showed up in this city and was very open about who I am and what I believe in, and I think that I have scared everyone away with my strangeness. I am lonely, I have to admit. I really wish to find a crowd who enjoy art and eccentric people, books and (real) music. People that I can fly my freak flag with and not have to worry about any judgement being passed. Well, there is an old saying (sort of) that I like to stick to in times like these: Stop looking for your missing sock, because it is only when you stop looking that you will find it. The same goes with situations like this one. When I stop looking for that group, I will find them.

Falling up

Le Petite Dahlia

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Once upon a poet’s dream, a child played with a wilted flower. Pulling the petals one by one, she sang her favorite song. The sky was falling slowly behind her, the first snow flake landed on her little red nose. She licked it off and kept on singing about the stars that winked at her last night. With giant eyes and tiny hands, she reached out to the heavens, tossing the brittle petals one by one. She wondered where her stars went, and why they don’t say hello; she laughed and giggled and wished that she could fly to the stars that were her only friends. The wind kissed her softly, rustling her blue peasant skirt. She hopped up and skipped with it, wondering where the wind blows. Golden threads of silky hair whipping and tickling her little face, her eyelashes danced with the breeze. The sky was falling harder now, and her hands were red with cold. She kept on skipping, hopping, singing; the cold could not hurt her anymore.

Countercountercountersavemecountercrazy

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Meg (talking to a customer about a new concealer):…So, Mrs. Jones; the easiest way to blend this in is to lightly pat it with your fangers.

Katryna (cleaning the brushes across from Meg): “Fangers?”

Meg looks at Katryna, she is confused.

Meg: huh?

Katryna: You just said FANGers.

Meg: That’s how you say it…fang-gers.

Katryna: No, dude. It’s FIN-gers

The client is laughing at us because of Meg’s innocently confused face. Meg continues with ┬áthe client until the aesthetician walks out and collects the pleasantly plump Mrs. Jones. She was in desperate need of a brow wax. Meg turns to me and says:

Meg: How do you say it then?

Katryna: Fin-gers

Meg: Fang-gers

Katryna (sighs): Ok, ok let’s do this together. Repeat after me…fin

Meg: Fan

Katryna: Fiiiiiin

Meg: Faaaan

Katryna: Ok dude, alright…fangers it is.

One day at the counter:

It was slow when I walked through the door with a gigantic cup of coffee in my freezing hands. 10 am to be exact. The red wine on my dress was making the light blue flowers look purple on the right side of my dress. Tired, and hung over, I clocked in. I dragged my feet on the marble floors of the department store. Different genres of music were stabbing my ears from every angle. Typical department store sounds. All of the other cosmetics counters were preparing their surrounding areas for different events. My head was throbbing, and the gravitational pull from the ground beneath my feet was 1000 times stronger than the day before. I tripped on the corner of my hot pink counter, and spilled hot coffee down the front of my dress. Grrr. Before I had time to recover, one of the first of the buzzing, shopping bag ladies asks me how much it would be to do her makeup. I recognized her red permed hair, and her neon pink nail polish. She was the one that likes bright orange lip-stick and talks about nothing but her maltese. I told her that I wouldn’t mind doing a couple of things here and there for free. She drops all of her shopping bags (the store had only been open for half an hour) and immediately starts chattering away while I picked out a few eye shadows. 20 minutes and a full face of makeup later, the crazy looks in the mirror and gushes about how much she loves everything that I put on her. My eyes feel like they are going to fall out of my head, and she still talks about her maltese. I try to laugh at her “jokes” but I sounded like a frog during mating season. Katie prances to my side of the counter, and chatters away in her high pitched-squeaky-hungover me’s-worst nightmare, voice. I don’t understand a word, and nod my head, and continue grabbing the crazy’s favorite products. After about an hour of this, I ran off for a fifteen, drank a couple of coffees and survived the rest of the day pulling through the rest of the crazies. Going out for a nice yummy drink soon…and a pack of gummy bears, maybe two.

Woman sitting on a bench reading tea leaves

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My plants are happy! They are growing at a very fast rate. My latest plant, a zinia, has yet to germinate, it’s been a couple of days since I planted it, so I’m not expecting much until about a week from now.

Clumsy morning:

I woke up an hour before my alarm clock was to go off. No more sleep for me! I bounded to the shower, trying to avoid the freezing cold hallway as much as possible. The floor was moist from the last person that had showered, and I slipped oh-so-gracefully stubbing my toe in the process. No harm done, just a bruise I’m sure. After a delightfully hot shower, I bolted into my room, slipping yet again, on the little drops of water running down my back to the tips of my red toes. I caught myself on the door frame and smashed my finger in the process. This was too funny to be mad at, so I wasn’t too mad at myself. Since it was cold in my room, I sat in front of my space heater and dozed off in a soaking wet bath towel. I fell sideways, bonking my head on my book shelf, which in turn caused the paint water to wobble dangerously and topple on my head. Lovely! Another freezing run through the hallway and into the bathroom, another scalding hot shower, the coffee maker screamed at me from downstairs, my morning wake up call was finally ready! I got dressed quickly; not bothering to brush my hair. I poured myself a cup and walked onto the porch to feed my flowers. The door slammed behind me; I was locked out. I called everyone in the house, but they were all still snoring and dreaming of beer heaven. Last resort: picking up a few pebbles from under my window, I threw them at my roommate’s window, hoping that someone would wake up. Someone sleepily peeks through the blinds, and I wave frantically. He got the point. Grumpy bear, sleepy and cranky from being interrupted from his slumber, unlocks the door for me with eyes half open. He runs up the stairs, and into his warm bed (I’m sure), as I pour myself another cup of hot coffee. FIN

The trees are starting to bloom; purple flowers peek at me from under the naked branches.

Sick booger faced crazy

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Finally, the flowers are blooming signifying the start of Spring. And for that, I thank my lucky stars. No more freezing nights curled up next to a space heater. I can enjoy the great out doors once again!

For the past week, I have been for quite the ride. My energy has been bouncing back and forth, and my creative outlet has a purpose once again. Since I don’t have very many friends, all I do on my spare time is paint. My cleaning binge is over, and my messiness is back in full force. That’s okay though; I like my messes (my room mates don’t).

I planted some daisies and I was surprised at how giddy I felt when I saw their little green heads sprouting with a tiny seed hat clinging on before the onset of more leaves. I feel like a child again, my old self is starting to seep back in and that makes me happy. For a little while I thought that part was gone forever.

This Madame Bovary piece is definitely coming along quite nicely. It’s definitely an ongoing experiment, seeing as I don’t really have a solid plan for it. I’ve been waking up at 6 am every day to work on it, and staying up until 2 am working on the details. It’s like meditation! Every bit of emotion is being transferred to my art, which is nice since I am an over thinking, nervous, emotional mess sometimes. Sleep comes on a lot more easily these days, and dreams haven’t been as turbulent, though still pleasantly vivid.

Last night’s dream:

I’m with Meg and we are at starbucks, she bought me an iced coffee. Next thing I know I’m running to the school that’s across the street from my house. It’s dark outside and it is the end of the world or something. The school is a shelter. I was running with Meg and her boyfriend. The entrance looks like my high school gym. I am alone now, in a dark hallway with a flashing light. I’m not afraid, just curious as to what the hell is going on and why there aren’t more people in the hallways. I’m looking for my suitcase. A little boy with glasses grabs my hand and tells me to follow him because he knows the “secret way”. Out of curiosity, I follow him. We get into an empty elevator and it stops in between floors, we get out. I keep following him through winding passage ways. There are people screaming around me but the hallway is empty. I wasn’t afraid, though I knew that something terrible was happening. Finally, he opens the door to a classroom and there are my tiny suitcases next to a stern faced teacher, trying to teach her class long division. This teacher freaked me out the most ( or maybe the math did). I thanked the little boy and stuck my tongue out at the teacher for yelling at him. Now I am in the administration office, and all of the office walls are glass. There is a blonde haired girl with tiny shorts on and a tube top sitting at a desk in the office next to me. A demon creature man thing is standing behind her with a knife in his hand. I bang on the glass trying to warn her but she can’t hear me. Her mother is sitting across from her, she doesn’t care. The girl turns her head and confuses the thing with her boyfriend. He drags her off into the darkness. I’m running through this glass office trying to find the bathroom. There is a line. I hear strange noises and the blonde girl tries to attack me. I grabbed her face and sent white light (?) into her mouth. She goes back to normal, but before this she threatened to kill me. I punched her and ran. I go outside and the demon man thing is preaching to a crowd. The girl’s mom is there. I run up to him and punch him then hop into a car that you are driving and we go back to starbucks, I finish my iced coffee and Meg apologizes for leaving me alone.

Weird but fun. I woke up at three am, made some tea and ate 5 chocolate chip cookies, then went back to bed and dreamt about a film festival.