Me: Hello, can I help you find anything?
Crazy: I-I-I need a good eye cream, I have these DARK circles b-cause I aint’ slept in 5 yeeee-aah.
Me: Ok, come on over here and have a seat.
I demonstrate the eye cream and she decides to buy it. After purchasing it, she hangs around the counter and tells me this story:
Crazy: I was chatting wit this man online and he was SeEeExXaAy! So he came to see me, and guess what happened?
Before I had any time to say anything, she whips out her little red phone.
Crazy: He took me out to a FINE little place, then he took me home and asked me to have (whispers) sex with him. THEN, I gave him the TD!
The customer behind her is staring and Meg is watching from the Brow Bar as I helplessly mouthed the word “help!”
Crazy: You know what the TD is? TURN DOWN!!!! (she flips open her phone, and shows me a very blurry picture of a funny looking little man with green eyes) wadn’t he FIIIIIINE? Grrrl you don’t know, 55 I am and I still get these men. THEN after the TD, he asked me to do him a favor–
Before she had time to tell me what this little favor was, I quickly asked her for the time.
CrazY: 8: 09
Me: Oh! really? I have a very important meeting to go to. It was a pleasure! Enjoy the eye cream! BYE!
I quickly ran into the brow bar, and Meg and Tia asked me what happened, and I told them. We laughed for quite a while, then made up a code word for times when one of us needs to be “rescued”.
Ay Dios MIOOOO!!!!!!!!!!